Debunking myths about self-love

Self-love is a topic that is often misunderstood and surrounded by myths that can prevent us from truly embracing and practicing it. Here, we draw on evidence-based insights and personal experiences to provide a more nuanced and authentic understanding of self-love.

1. Myth: Self-love is selfish

The difference between self-love and selfishness

One common myth that often prevents us from practicing self-love is the belief that it is synonymous with selfishness, and this often results in guilt when we prioritize our well-being.

Self-love includes building a healthy relationship with oneself, recognizing one's worth, and prioritizing personal well-being. It’s about treating yourself with the same kindness and compassion that you would offer to a loved one. It's about taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally so that you can show up as your best self in all areas of your life.

Selfishness, on the other hand, is a disregard for the needs and feelings of others and prioritizing our interests, which may even be harmful to others. It is essential to understand.

2. Myth: Self-love means always putting yourself first

The balance between self-love and consideration of others

A common misconception is that practicing self-love involves consistently putting oneself first at the expense of others. While prioritizing personal well-being is definitely important, an exaggerated or excessive focus on our needs can lead to isolation and strained relationships.

Recognizing that self-love extends to acts of kindness for oneself and others, engaging in mutually beneficial relationships (but not always having a work-related approach), expressing empathy, and also considering the needs of loved ones without sacrificing yourself are all important parts of self-love practice.

3. Myth: self-love is a destination and not a journey

Ever-evolving nature of self-love

The misconception that self-love is a destination, a fixed point where all challenges and insecurities just vanish, can lead to discontentment. It may create unrealistic expectations and set us up for disappointment. The truth is, self-love is not a static endpoint but a dynamic and evolving journey. We are here to learn about how to accept both strengths and vulnerabilities.

Self-love doesn't exempt us from facing difficulties. It's not a magic cure, but it helps us navigate through challenges with grace, compassion, and support for ourselves. When we face ongoing struggles despite our efforts in self-love, it's important to recognize that setbacks are and will be a part of them.

Please do not blame yourself for persistent difficulties or insecurities. Any challenge that you face does not decrease the worth or value of your efforts. Celebrating and acknowledging all your accomplishments, however small they may seem to you, is important because someday these accomplishments or the progress you’ve made were your goals. YOU ARE HERE!

4. Myth: self-love is a solo endeavor

The role of connection in self-love

This myth can cause us to overlook the power of social connections and can leave us feeling isolated and unsupported.

I will encourage everyone on this journey or even otherwise to actively seek support from friends, family, support groups or whoever makes you feel safe. Sharing personal experiences, expressing vulnerabilities, and receiving encouragement can create a sense of belonging and understanding and does not make you feel so alone.

It is also important to understand that while working on yourself, you will realize that there are so many relations or situations in your life that do not fill you up in a meaningful way, are either draining emotionally or mentally or do not have your best interest at heart. It is necessary to distance yourself from them in order to fully accept yourself and grow. It might even be painful to do so but when we stay at a place that disrespects us in such a way, we end up losing ourselves.

It's important to realize that seeking support doesn't make you weak. Vulnerability feels dangerous or even unsafe but with the right people is it worth it. Think of it like having a team of cheerleaders rooting for you. The connections that provide a SUPPORTIVE environment, a sense of acceptance and belonging but also diverse perspectives and help you when you lose your way.

A balance in everything is essential. Be patient with yourself. You got this. I believe in you.

that self-love lays the foundation for building more meaningful and empathetic connections with others. Loving yourself is not mutually exclusive to caring for others. And it may become a little easier to start prioritizing yourself after understanding this, and we may even feel less guilty. The focus is on baby steps because even the littlest of your efforts count.

To further make it more realistic, let’s talk about the ripple effect, which is a concept where an initial disturbance in a system spreads outwards, affecting a larger portion of the system. In simple terms, it means that one action can have a big impact on many other things.

(1)365 = 1

(1.01)30 = 1.35

(1.01)365 = 37.78

If you’re ever confused or feel anxious in this case, you can try to ask yourself whether your actions arise from a want to meet your own needs in a healthy and balanced manner. Remember that self-love forms a sense of connection and empathy, while selfishness often results in feeling arrogant and egotistical.