Building Confidence

Developing and nurturing confidence in ourselves

When dealing with social anxiety, confidence can seem like a distant dream. It can be hard to speak up, make eye contact, or even join conversations without feeling anxious. One of our goals here is to helps you feel more at ease, communicate effectively, connect with others on a deeper level and being fiercely and unapologetically yourself.

I will be sharing strategies to gain confidence one by one in separate blogs. There is one thing that I have noticed in my journey, which is that every little step and effort counts but there has to be consistency. As in, all the steps that you have practiced before have to go in rotation. When practiced repeatedly, there is actually a time when not being anxious comes so naturally, maybe not in all situations but even if that happens one, I am pretty sure that it would feel like a huge achievement because it actually is!

Negative thoughts such as “I am not good enough,” “I will mess it up” or “that was embarrassing” could be real downers and especially if you are dealing with social anxiety. But as mentioned before, challenging them, and moving towards more positive ones are a real help – we can turn this table by using positive affirmations.

What Are Positive Affirmations?

Positive affirmations are short, powerful statements that you repeat to yourself to reinforce positive beliefs and challenge negative thoughts. They are reminders of your worth, capabilities, and potential helping you boost your confidence and self-esteem, thereby making it easier to face the world with a more positive attitude.

How Do Affirmations Work?

Our brains are wired to look for patterns and beliefs that support our existing mindset. When you're stuck in a loop of negative thinking, your brain tends to focus on things that validate those negative beliefs. Positive affirmations can help rewire your brain by shifting the focus to positive thoughts and beliefs. The more you repeat these affirmations, the more your brain starts to believe them, leading to a stronger sense of self-worth and confidence.

But it is important to remember to not force the positive thoughts or affirmations but slowly transform the negative ones into the positive ones, to prevent putting too much pressure on yourself or working on it superficially.

Creating Your Own Positive Affirmations

To start using positive affirmations, write down a list of simple statements that make you feel good about yourself. These statements should be encouraging and reflect the things you want to achieve or believe in. They could be about feeling confident, being capable, or knowing that you are enough just as you are. Aim for phrases that inspire you and boost your mood. This list will be your go-to source for positive thoughts whenever you need a boost or encouragement.

· "I am capable and strong."

· "I am worthy of love and respect."

· "I can handle whatever comes my way."

· "I am enough, just as I am."

· "I believe in my ability to succeed."

· “I am healthy.”

· “I am taking care of myself.”

· "I bring unique value to every interaction."

· "It's okay to make mistakes; that's how I learn."

· "I have the strength to face my fears.”

· I am allowed to set boundaries and say no.”

Feel free to create your own affirmations based on what YOU NEED TO HEAR. The key is to choose statements that inspire confidence, make you feel good about yourself and are meaningful to you.

Also, our brain does not understand negative statements. Have you ever gone skiing? You do not go around looking for a path with no trees but you focus on the path with snow (that is how you know that there are no trees). If I say do not think of an apple – you actually thought of an apple.

It’s kind of similar with positive affirmations. Instead of using negations in your sentences such as I am not nervous, say “I am a confident person.” It will make a huge difference because now you are not focusing on nervous but instead on the confidence.

How to Use Positive Affirmations

Now that we have our affirmations, it's time to make them a part of our everyday life.

1) Starting Your Day with Affirmations

A great way to start your morning is by setting a positive tone with affirmations. These are simple, encouraging phrases that remind you of your strengths and help you feel good about yourself. Try saying your affirmations in front of a mirror – you connect with your words and actually can visualize it better. You don’t have to say them out loud, even in your head is okay; write them down in a journal or you could even keep a list on your phone to look at it whenever you want. There are also accounts on Instagram who have content focused on positive affirmations in a fun way (like a 30 second audio).

2) Using Affirmations During Stressful Moments

We all have moments when we feel stressed or anxious, and it's easy for negative thoughts to take over. When this happens, take a deep breath and repeat your affirmations (have a list of your go-to affirmations for such moments that will help you feel grounded and composed).

Think of it as giving yourself a pep talk. If you're feeling anxious, you can say to yourself, "I can handle this," or "I am safe and in control." These words can be grounding and give you a sense of comfort. Once you stop the spiral, things get a little easier.

3) Boosting Confidence Before Social Interactions

If you have a meeting, a party, or any event where you might feel nervous, use affirmations to remind yourself that you belong there. Do it in your car, as you walk to the venue, or go in the restroom and just take your time cause you got this!

Making Affirmations Work for You

Unlike a quick fix, it is required to be consistent with your affirmations. You do not have to repeat them 10 or 20 times a day, you can if you want to but again do not be forceful – let it flow. You can even start with 1 affirmation, but make that a routine. Say that at least once or twice to yourself every day. It might feel a bit weird or strange in the beginning, but stick with it. Over time, you'll start to notice a shift in your mindset. You'll feel more confident, more positive, and better equipped to handle social situations.

And remember, it's okay if you don't feel 100% confident all the time. No one does. The key is to keep practicing and giving yourself credit for the progress you make.